Treading water

Combining a bit of vintage and mental health with this one.πŸ˜‚ 

Can you relate to this? Not necessarily on a literal level (although I am terrified of the sea because of that film – but that’s another story), but do you ever feel like you’ve moved on from something and then it comes back and bites you on the backside bringing you crashing back down again? 

Sometimes I think that should be the tag line for my life. That or ‘History repeating itself’. I don’t know if it’s part of being an empath or just a culmination of events and bad choices in my lifetime. But I’m on a journey to discover why these things happened in the first place and why I find it so hard to break free from the past and just move forward. Sometimes it feels like I’m treading water, waiting for the shark to bite, but what I’m really doing is attracting it. Cutting my finger so it will smell my blood and attack because that’s what I’ve come to expect. 

My ‘sharks’ are people. ‘Friends’ who at various stages in my life, dropped me in pretty malicious ways without any  warning. 

Not all of them of course! I have, and have had, some wonderful friends. And, I’ve dealt with those from the past and they no longer upset me, but I haven’t as yet, been able to stop that repetition. And currently find myself dealing with another similar situation. All that has made me cautious with friendships  and that over time has led to paranoia, anxiety and depression.

 I’ve had some great sessions recently with a lovely lady – The Reiki Therapist. She’s teaching me how to cut those ‘chords’ and self heal. To recognise the patterns and stop them repeating. It’s just a long road to recovery when you’ve spent 30 + years with your demons, but I have definitely cleared those from my past. Now it’s about dealing with what is in front of me and not allowing it to happen again. 

I think this quote sums it up perfectly for me…

 If you get a chance please give her a follow on 🌺

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