The people pleaser

Friday…

So I had a big cry this morning. Wasn’t sure if it would stop. But it did eventually, and left me with a lovely headache. I wish I had it in me to confront the situations/people that trigger my anxiety. But I find it really hard to vent my anger. I don’t like confrontation, and on the rare occasion that I might vent it, I immediately back down and try to calm the waters, because I fear for the consequences. 

I feel like Chandler from ‘Friends’ who thought that every argument he ever had with a girlfriend, meant it was the end of the relationship, not realising that it’s ok to fall out. 

Real relationships/friendships are built to withstand fallouts and arguments. It’s the false ones that are not, and if that happens, it’s best to walk away. Lesson learnt. But in my pathetic need to keep everyone else happy, I end up crushing myself in paranoia and overthinking, worrying about being rejected instead of dealing with the situation head on and seeing it for what it really is. 

I’m no actress. What you see is what you get. There’s no hidden agenda, no competition. Just a woman with some self confidence issues trying to get through life and make some good honest, lasting friendships along the way. This is what I need to work on. I need to know that it’s ok to speak up when you feel hurt, angry or betrayed. Even if I may have blown things out of proportion in my own head, my feelings are real and they need to be acknowledged and released. Even if it does mean the end of something..if that’s the case, it was never built on solid foundations to begin with and has no place in my future. 

I can’t please all of the people all of the time. Nor can I expect everyone to like me. But I’m not being true to myself if I lay myself down with a sign on my back saying ‘walk all over me’. 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The people pleaser

  1. Jane May says:

    Hello lovely lady, thank you for this. I have the same issues. I find that sometimes I get swept away with others and then realise that I have been used. I try so hard to watch what I say so it doesn’t come back to me. But this isn’t helpful to my mental wellbeing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jane, Thank you for responding! I think it’s hard for those of us who are sensitive souls. We never want to rock the boat. I have friends who say whatever comes into their minds, and I cringe when I think it might be taken to heart by someone but, in actual fact, I think sometimes people just like a straight talker. Good or bad. No beating around the bush! Just not sure if I have that in me though 😂

      Like

  2. Myrsini says:

    You absolutely should not allow anyone to walk over you. Yes sometimes honestly it isn’t worth it to get into an argument or disagreement with some people cause they are just mean and doff so it wouldn’t make a difference. The times when you do feel that you actually want to say exactly what’s on your mind is definitely the time to do it. I also used to keep quiet and was intimidated by others and didn’t want to make trouble, now it’s a different story. I have an opinion, and I give myself the chance to speak up when I feel I shouldn’t be spoken to that way or whatever the situation is if I feel I shouldn’t back down then I don’t.
    You go get them girl! You’re worth more than being used as a doormat. No effing ways! You’re way too glamorous xxx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s